Previous Next December 14, 1972 My dearest darling John: Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way. All my love, Agnes December 18, 1972 Dearest John: What a surprise. The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Cordially, Agnes December 20, 1972 John: What's with you and those freaking birds??
My love always, Agnes December 15, 1972 Dearest John: Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
Once, I dated a guy who would text me, or call me every day. I wasn’t freaked initially, but I noticed there was something essentially missing in my day. I had to remind myself of one important truth: When a man isn’t calling you, instead of worrying about what that means put the situation into perspective.
Agnes December 23, 1972 You rotten prick: Now there's ten ladies dancing.
The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned. Agnes December 24, 1972 Listen Fuckhead: What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maids and ladies? Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows.
The No-Contact Rule is one of life's necessary evils.
No one likes it, especially the brokenhearted, but in order to really heal from a rough breakup, it's pretty much non-negotiable.
He pulled the classic fade out and it was a miserable experience.