It’s an “It’s not you, it’s me” situation, except it comes before any relationship has even happened.Problem is, your feelings for him and what your relationship are just an illusion.
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You get to see him as the man he truly is – an unguarded version of himself that he hides from the world and only seems to let you see. So why, in the midst of this seemingly perfect situation, aren’t you any more than friends?
Or worse, why (when you told him how you felt about him) does he say, “I really love you.
Jerry Seinfeld wisely observed that breaking up with someone was like trying to tip over a soda machine. Someone throws away a prominent career because they have fallen in love (or lust) with someone they shouldn’t.
Once it is moving and unstable only then you can push it over. It is difficult to tell another person, “I don’t want a romantic relationship with you.” Hearing it from someone else is clearly worse. The logic usually goes, “I do like her as a person. One night you’re out as friends, you have a couple of drinks, somebody leans in too close, and BAM! Only this situation is much more confusing, hurtful, and sad. It is hard to turn off romantic feelings You see it in the paper every day.
The reality is that when someone hasn’t healed past hurts and relationship wounds, they really aren’t ready to get into a new relationship.